its time for....... Guilty Pleasures!

im pretty sure no one even read my blog but if there are...
you may think im crazy because i post 3 damn posts in one night, but i think this blog becomes my addiction to write my thoughts. so....

tonight im gonna post my own guilty pleasures. gosh, im not ready.

alright.

guilty pleasure, i like sucking my left thumb until my 6th grade. and i cant stop.

damn. weird

guilty pleasure, i always stalk @SBYudhoyono aka my president for some reasons like im daydreaming i won some competition and he mentioned me on twitter. oh my God.

im so done with myself. nexttt

guilty pleasure, i LOVE @cakkanrg. like. a. lot. he's like one of my celebrity crushes. i hope no one reads this. #prayingcircle

okay.....

guilty pleasure, i always sing in my bathroom when no one's home. i dont mean singing. its more like shouting. cause it's noisy. and i suck at singing. i cant sing. and i once brought my guitar into my bathroom.

i cant believe i write this.

guilty pleasure, i have sooooo many Justin Bieber songs. okay im so ashamed at this one. i hate him okay. but some of his musics are...... cool. damn, my friends at school will laugh at me if they read this.

OH MY GOD SHAME ON MEEEEEE.

the last one!! guilty pleasure............... i...... like... one TV show.. and.... oh my God. uhm, okay. i like, i mean, i LOVE Tukang Bubur Naik Haji. okay, make fun of it all you want. but i cant stop watching this thing!!!!! bos romlah is probably my fav character. and yet, shes funny. k.


thats it. oh my God. im so ashamed but lega you know.

k then, goodnight people.

love,
gendissw
aka
weirdest person thats ever touched the earth.

ugh

the girl i talk about in my last post is my old friend too. i dont know where her school now, and i dont care. i didnt get in touch with her for a while. then she came and mad at me like seriously?????????????

i think the whole universe dont even care about this post. cause it's so damn unimportant. aaaaaaahh.

the thing is i cant sleep, so i post random posts.

i want to sleep. clearly.

huh, k

people calls it holiday, i call it ordinary-days-without-uniforms

so, i, uhm.. it's 21.47 here. no it's 21.48. shit now it's 21.49. whatever. it's getting colder here as i put on my socks. i never wear socks at night before. weird. yea.

fever sucks. i want to spend my holidays going to some places, watching movies, eating as many as i can, and all those things people do in holiday. sitting in front the computer screen is the worst. which i shouldnt anyway. my mom would kill me.

some things bother me today. i mean, im not over those whole damn exam things then i got this not-really-matter-but-cant-get-our-of-ma-head thing. thats ok bc no one reads my blog.

couple days ago i went to watch a movie with my hardcore friends, lol at that hardcore. we had fun. but thats not the problem. the thing is, my friend's friend (which is mine too) didnt like it. you know, like i shouldnt have gone with my friends. (REALLY?!!) like, wut? i can go out with everyone i want and you have no damn right. i really want to confront her. no im just kidding. this girl is my friend's old friend. and they're not as close as they used to. i feel sorry, okay? & i really did my best to help her soooooo many times. but.................................... really? i cant go out with my friends just to having fun?

no

uh probably not

na, ah

i dont think so

you got a BIG NO (+10000 exclamation points)

right? is it my fault that somebody who used to close to you feel more comfortable around me?? people changes, sweetheart. im not mad (well, kinda), but this cant get out of my mind. im just sick. and not in a good way. i guess it disgusts me. it really is.

and now i think my radio is broken. what a perfect holiday.
ps, my grammar sucks

dunno why i write this

uhm, so apparently John Mayer and Taylor Swift aka my fav people evah are on tour.

well, thats good.

i mean ...

HOW CAN MY FAV MUSICIANS ARE ON TOUR AND MEET THOSE BUNCH OF PEOPLE AND IM STILL STUCKIN IN MY DAMN COUNTRY???????? LIKE, THIS COUNTRY IS MORE LIKE NARNIA IN REAL LIFE.

man, this bothers me so much.\

but..

i hope the tour goes well

and indonesian promotors better be aware.

I NEED BORN AND RAISED TOUR AND RED TOUR IN MY COUNTRYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok.

my blog is reborn, i guess

i never thought it's been 2 years or more (i cant remember) since i wrote the last post. im kind of worry with my randomness in my recent posts haha. its weird i know. but im proud to say im growin u and mature now, yea.

im pretty sure no one reads this and the next post ill write. so, it wouldnt be weird to write my thoughts here.

ok.

well, i dont know where to start. but first im sorry for my grammar. but i swear its not that bad, though.

it started last month actually. i had this kind of nerve before national exam. its normal, but very unusual for me. i couldnt sleep at night. the last time i had insomnia was 1 or 2 years ago, idk. i didnt eat for a day. yes, no eat. but no, im not on a diet. i was sweating more than usual.

at first, i thought everyone felt the same way. but not until i saw everyone acted usual, ya know, like nothing happened. i was like, "seriously? does that fuckin thing didnt even cross your mind for once?" i kept saying that in my mind for hours, until i asked one of my friends.

"we're gonna face the national exam in 2 weeks. are you nervous?"
"yea, but no, not really"
"are you prepared already? cause, damn that thing keep me awake"
"come on, i dont need to study. i use the leaked asnwers, idiot"
"oh, right. okay"

shit. i shoulda known. yes, that was our convo. but no, we were not talkin in english, we're not that smart.

the next couple days were the worst. people kept asking me if i want to 'join' them. damn, i almost did because im scared as hell. so i refused. but at the end of the day, i kept thinking about "what if i fail? what if i didnt make it? what if those stupid people got the higher score than me?" (im not sorry for the stupid word). that was the worst thing that could happen.

no

No way

NO WAYYYYYY

i dont like studying. not a fan of book. but.... ahh.

i studied in the next day. not so hard, but i TRIEDDD!!

went to school was 1 of the worst things ive ever did. people kept talking about that damn things. u know.

damn

one day before exam, i had this damn fever. i couldnt sleep. i slept on 3.25 AM. good. the words "what if i didnt make it" echoed in my mind. ugh.

i tweeted @rockstarronan aka Maya Thompson aka the best mother in the whole universe, and she replied. I FREAKED OUT! like, really. it would be the good pillow to sleep on. it was. i fell asleep. oh good times.

the first 3 days were fine.

UNTIL

THE

FOURTH

DAY

fuck. i couldnt believe. i got stucked. couldnt find the answers. i blamed all of these to the govv!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that made me scared as hell. after the exam, everyone seemed right. LIKE REALLY?!! DID SCIENCE SCARE YOU LIKE IT SCARE ME??!! probably not. gosh, i felt like crying.

i went home and threw my shoes then lied on the bed. and these things came to my mind. crap.

"ive been studying since i was 13yo. 3 years i went to school and came back home. every fucking day. i learned some shit i didnt even want to know. i got punished by those teachers. i had fight with my friends. stucked in these stupid dramas. im tired. i want to move on. the thing is, can i? the fourth day scares me the most. what if i couldnt get the school i wanted. what if my new school is a crap. and those people get things they wanted without some hard works?"

everything sucks.

it sucks enough to make me end this post. really